Why I Am Letting Go of Christmas (in my head)

I'm Letting Go of Christmas

Christmas is that time of year that is all about traditions and special decorations. The familiar smells, sounds, and colors make me feel so warm and nostalgic. The last few years, I must admit, I have been that person. The one who decorates for Christmas the moment Halloween is over! But this year… I am letting go of Christmas… (…at least in my head)

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Just look at that gorgeous tree next to the fireplace!!! Red and gold sparkling ornaments, beautifully placed ribbon, twinkling white lights, a gorgeous Star on top… It doesn’t get more magical than a beautiful tree and a warm fireplace… 

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But here’s the confession… These are last years pictures!!! My gorgeous tree is not set up. There is no twinkling lights, sparkling ornaments and no roaring fire right now. And people… We are already over a week into DECEMBER!!!! 

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I attempted to put up the kids tree. And I am happy to announce that it hasn’t been completely knocked over! (YET!) But all decorations have been removed. Lights are barely hanging on.  And quite frankly. This has made me grumpy. Very. Very grumpy.

I have all these expectations of what Christmas should look like, feel like, and even taste and smell like.
I feel like it isn’t much to ask. I put up a tree just for the kids to decorate. I have a tree just for me that is beautiful and fancy and pretty and girly. Is it really all that much to ask them to LEAVE IT ALONE?????? 

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For about two weeks it bothered me. And bothered me a LOT! I mean, I have 6 kids. The first 3 were pretty good around the Christmas tree. Last year, the twins weren’t even crawling, so not a problem. But this year… two 1 year olds, two 3 year olds, and two VERY aggressive older boys…. yah. It’s not going to happen the way I see it in my head. And I must confess to you. It put me in a bad mood.

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My bad mood changed when I remembered a few years ago a neighbor of mine. She had just one son. He was having some behavior issues and they were having him tested for autism. Christmas was bringing out some hard behaviors. But what was coming out of her was even worse. She was miserable. I mean downright MISERABLE! It wasn’t her son that was ruining Christmas. It was her. Without stopping to meet his needs, she pushed her expectations on her little family. And when it didn’t measure up, she came crashing down and brought everyone with her.

It is never easy to have a child who has special needs. And now having one of my own with special needs right now, I sympathize with the disappointment of losing those expectations. But there comes a point when we have to let go of those perfect images in our head. The reality is… We have to let them go.  And embrace the reality that is right in front of us.

Life is unpredictable. And that is what makes it beautiful, and fun, and thrilling.
I don’t have to give up on Christmas being magical, or beautiful, or fun. But I can remember that this is only for a season. Next year will be completely different. (Hopefully, the twins will finally have some sense and not climb every single piece of furniture!) 

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So this year. I am letting go of Christmas. The expectations. The pictures in my head. I am enjoying this moment. The first Christmas with SIX kids. The first Christmas with our newest little guy. My new Christmas tree may still be in the box it shipped to me from Amazon in. And it may stay there for another week or maybe never be put up. And that’s okay. 

This Christmas I have exactly what I want… Even without the extra twinkling lights and red sparkling ornaments. I am finding that the more I let go, the more special moments I find happening every day. And those sparkle more brightly than a thousand strands of Christmas lights ever could. 

I hope sharing with you my struggle you may yourself, find the courage to let go of expectations of the season and find magic in the simple things and everyday moments you have right now. With or without red sparkly ornaments.!

Happy Christmas (even in your head),
Keikilani

19 thoughts on “Why I Am Letting Go of Christmas (in my head)

  • December 9, 2015 at 9:58 pm
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    Love this! I suspect that this Christmas may produce your most favorite memories yet… 🙂

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  • December 9, 2015 at 10:22 pm
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    I learned to embrace the hot mess that is my Christmas tree years ago. I always wanted a nice fancy tree, but that is the exact opposite of what I actually have LOL.

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  • December 9, 2015 at 11:16 pm
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    LOL!! We just got our Christmas tree set up last weekend and it’s not even decorated yet so I totally get you!
    With the parties, the birthdays and everything else we have to do this month I am just trying to keep my head above water to be totally honest with you. My expectations aren’t super high this year either and I am blissfully ok with that!

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  • December 9, 2015 at 11:30 pm
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    We will not be having an as beautiful Christmas tree this years as we did last year. The cats will not allow it and that is perfectly okay.

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  • December 10, 2015 at 1:59 am
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    I think this will be an awesome Christmas for you. It’s definitely important to take this time to relax and not stress about all the details.

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  • December 10, 2015 at 4:22 am
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    I feel you girl. Those picture perfect christmas’ are great but honestly you have everything you need right there! My tree is a disaster because my 2 kids are terrors lol

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  • December 10, 2015 at 4:53 am
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    I totally hear you!! Expectations can be so overwhelming! It can be exhausting trying to be perfect and keep up with the Jones’. But I do like both of your trees!!

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  • December 10, 2015 at 6:52 am
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    We decided that our lives have become too frenetic and this is a timely reminder for me indeed.

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  • December 10, 2015 at 10:43 am
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    I recently lost everything, all of my oranments I collected for many years, and those that my grandmother had on her tree too, were among the ‘everything.’ I now appreciate so many things before that I took for granted. Losing everything is awful, esp. when you never in a million years thought it would happen, but it does make each and every thing very special. I thought they were special before, but now I have a new set of eyes, and I’m grateful. 🙂

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    • December 10, 2015 at 1:01 pm
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      I am so sorry for your loss. Losing everything must have been so hard. Hope you are able to make new memories with the items replaced.

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  • December 10, 2015 at 1:10 pm
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    I love the photo with the action figure hanging upside down in your tree. That reminds me of our house. lol We all have expectations of how the holidays should go and the reality is often VERY different. Remembering what it’s really about and enjoying those precious moments is what gives those beautiful memories! 🙂

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  • December 10, 2015 at 1:32 pm
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    The holiday season isn’t about trees and ornaments anyway. I admire you embracing what really matters this holiday season…family. No one has a perfect family but appreciating the one we have is what it’s all about!

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  • December 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm
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    I have a half decorated tree my little girl has taken all the ornaments if the button and had either broke them or have them to the dog to eat

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  • December 10, 2015 at 1:53 pm
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    I’m sure your tree will be beautiful – we often put way to much pressure on ourselves at holiday time. Being with family and having fun is the best part of the holidays for me.

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  • December 10, 2015 at 2:44 pm
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    I feel horrible because we do not even have our tree up either and not one decoration. My kids keep asking me to do it but I do not feel like it. Hold onto the memories, that is what matters most!

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  • December 11, 2015 at 4:26 pm
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    what a great reminder about what is really important about the holiday, that is the memories and spending time with your family. This year I let go of my “perfect” christmas tree with the matchy matchy ornaments and decorated just so. I let the kids do the tree and left everything where they put it. 10 ornaments on one branch.. fine with me, did we have fun? YUP

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