Universal Truths for all Moms – one kid or six kids

It often seems that becoming a mother suddenly makes you a hot mess needing lots and lots of advice. Whether the advice is solicited or un-solicited the wide range of practical and simply ridiculous tidbits friends and strangers will give you is rather overwhelming. There are books and magazines, and online groups, and forums, and more all dedicated to letting us know what we should be/do as mothers. As a mother to six children, who started with just one, I have found the following to be Universal Truths for all moms….whether you have one child or six.

Universal Truths for All Moms

You Can Ask for Help

Yep. You sure can.


In fact, you probably should ask for some help! 

I would describe a mother’s brain like my smartphone and my apps on it.

I almost NEVER close an app! My husband will spend 2 minutes shutting down apps on my phone and reprimand me for leaving them all open and attempt to explain this is why the phone is not functioning at full capacity. 

My response, “I wasn’t done with that app! I still need to open.”

This is how it is in motherhood. We have all of our “apps” open all the time. 

Laundry, cooking, cleaning, fight club referee, household management, organization, and on and on and on… None of these apps are every closing! They will remain indefinitely open….

Juggling “all the things” makes it hard to function at full capacity. Plus, throw in not sleeping consistently for a full 8 years in a row… Well, there is a reason you just put the keys in the refrigerator!

There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. In fact, it is refreshing to hear that other moms need help too. 

You’re not asking for the world. You can just ask for a 15 minute nap or help with matching the overflowing sock pile. And no one is going to judge you for that!

Embrace Your Season

Motherhood is a series of seasons. You have an infant, then a toddler, then a preschooler, then maybe another infant and a primary student, and another infant, plus preschooler and primary student, and then… you get my point. 

There are vast differences between mothering an infant and wrangling a toddler. There are limitations to what you can do when you have a child that is breast feeding exclusively or a toddler that becomes a gremlin when they miss their afternoon nap. 

Acknowledge that you won’t be in this season forever. 
(Acknowledging your season is half the battle and somewhat relieving to accept.)

When I had my three boys, 4 years old and under, it seemed like I had to give up everything! I just couldn’t keep any of the commitments I used to. I was regularly speaking and managing volunteers and coordinating events…But I had to give them all up when my third baby was born. I just could NOT do it all. And it made me super sad and a bit resentful. 

But, when I acknowledged that this was a season. That it would not be forever…

I found new joy in motherhood and embraced being at home with all my babies. And you know what else? New and surprising opportunities came upon me that I could totally do! (Like starting this blog…YAY!)

Some seasons are certainly harder than others.

The infant/toddler years are often hard seasons. Any time you have interrupted sleep, you are in a hard season.

I would not for all the tea in China go back and repeat the season of 2014 & 2015….Nope! I would not. I survived that season. And I am glad I made it through and will cherish the results of that season. But thankful I will never again repeat it!

So, if your season is long, or lonely, or frustrating right now. Huge hugs to you momma! And keep your chin up. This season will end soon. 

Do You

Motherhood often feels like the most vicious judgement zone you may ever encounter. Whether anyone is actually judging you or not, you feel judged and guilty and insecure about your choices in motherhood many times. 

I do NOT have a perfectly spotless house. My kids bedrooms are not decorated (besides some Star Wars curtains I found on clearance.). You will usually see my children half dressed and dirt on their faces. I enjoy making homemade, complicated meals for my family. And I can’t remember the last time I matched a pair of socks for my children. 

One or all of these things may make you go INSANE as a mother. And probably something you tolerate or accept in your children would make me loose my mind…

But that doesn’t make either one of us bad mothers. We are just being true to ourselves. 

When we ended up with six children through foster care there came a moment when I had to realize I was NOT going to have a perfect home. In fact, I was going to have a WELL LIVED-IN home. Things were going to break and wear down and that is just going to be life. So I embraced my season and am learning to “Do Me.” 

My children really aren’t going to remember how perfectly decorated my home was or if every floor was mopped once a week. But I know they will remember if I was happy and the home they lived in made them feel warm and safe. 

It’s more valuable to let go of the “Mom Guilt” and find a happy medium where you are good in your head and the kids are being kept reasonable alive and healthy. 

The alternative to not being you is trying to be someone else. And we all know that is never fulfilling or even remotely attainable. 

Universal Truths for All Moms-1

This is not the end it all for advice. But I have found that when I have accepts these three truths I am confident as a mother. I am less likely to second guess my decisions and choices. I am always open for good advice. Not every piece of advice offered is going to be right for me and my family. And that is OKAY! 

Motherhood is truly a journey. We never “Arrive.” We never have it all “Figured Out.” 

Because you KNOW as soon as you think you do…. You sweet child will throw you the biggest curveball of their LIFE!

Much love to all of you other moms in your journey!

You got this!

Happy Motherhood Journey!
Keikilani

TELL ME: Would you add anything else to this Universal Truth list? 

17 thoughts on “Universal Truths for all Moms – one kid or six kids

  • February 22, 2017 at 10:30 pm
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    I can relate so well to your post and I like your analogy in regards to our brains being like a smartphone with the apps left open. We juggle so much in a day and it’s okay to not be perfect.

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  • February 22, 2017 at 10:58 pm
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    I love this post! Being a mom is like having a smart phone for a brain with all the apps open. They have to be open if you want the day to go even halfway well.

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  • February 22, 2017 at 11:27 pm
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    Great reminder that we all are doing as good as we can as mothers and we should give ourselves a little slack sometimes! I love all the points you mentioned in here.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 12:03 am
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    This is such a great reminder! We all need to take a step back and know that we got this.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 12:04 am
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    Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do but is sometimes necessary. It is totally okay!

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  • February 23, 2017 at 1:27 am
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    Yes! It’s be bold and be mom!! Don’t compare to others. Just be yourself.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 1:40 am
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    Love that this is straight up you. 🙂

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  • February 23, 2017 at 2:04 am
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    Such great advice. You’re so overwhelmed when you become a parent and it’s so easy to get down on yourself as a mom. All moms should read this when they need a little perspective.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 2:12 am
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    Thinking of the journey in seasons is a nice way to make sure you live in the moment while also remembering the tough times won’t last forever. I also agree that it helps to remember that it’s impossible to be perfect.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 3:04 am
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    I think it is so important to help build up our fellow Moms. This is a great post. I wil have to share it with my friends that are expecting.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 3:06 am
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    It is so easy to get overwhelmed when you have a Baby. Posts like this are a great way for new Moms to see that it is all normal and okay to ask for help.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 3:08 am
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    My friend just found out she is expecting her first baby. This is a perfect post for her. I try to be as supportive as I can to new parents. I like to make up a bunch of meals and bring them over.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 6:06 am
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    So many important elements that new (and tested) Moms need more of. Always great to find articles to lift up and support that digital village! Beautiful picture too!

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  • February 23, 2017 at 8:58 pm
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    I give you credit for surviving with 3 boys under 4. I have two children separated by 4 years and that is work o keep them fed and busy when they are not in school. Raising kids is a journey and sometimes kids get dirty and they survive just fine, Enjoy the time with them when they are young it goes fast.

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  • February 23, 2017 at 10:32 pm
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    Embracing your season was the one truth that I did not realize only until recently. It’s hard when you are a new to understand it!

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  • February 26, 2017 at 8:55 pm
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    Balancing enjoying the good in having kids (especially when you have a gaggle like us) is very difficult. g

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