Marriage Advice (Part 2)

There is really nothing new under the sun when it comes to marriage advice.
Really, it is a matter of constantly applying what we know we should do and continuing to allow the Lord to change us personally!
I recently found a blogpost on marriage and I loved it so much I pretty much stole everything from that post to give pass on to my City Sisters when we were talking about marriage! 
(Check out Monica’s Blog if you are looking for a good blog to follow.) 
The following is from a handout I made for our City Sisters. I truly believe that if we apply these principles and pieces of advice in our marriages every single day, we would see a lot more happy couples out there!

Eight Things I Have Learned In Marriage
  1. Study your man, and accept him how/who he is…
    1. What matters to him
    2. What doesn’t matter to him
    3. What he needs
    4. What he doesn’t need
  2. Be His Balance
    1. Work with him
    2. Look at his gifts and consider what you want in marriage and then help him complete that puzzle
  3. Keep Your Identity
    1. Keep being interesting!
    2. Have your own interests
    3. Support your husband in having interests of his own
  4. Don’t Look to Your Spouse to Fulfill You
    1. Only God can truly fulfill you
    2. No one is perfect, putting pressure on someone to be is simply not fair
  5. Be Excited To See Him
    1. Stop what you are doing
    2. Smile
    3. Hug and Kiss
    4. Let him know he has your attention!
  6. Set the Tone of the Home
    1. It is not everyone else’s job to make you happy!
    2. Embrace your role as a Tone-Setter
  7. Don’t Talk Bad About Your Husband To Anyone EVER!
    1. If you need help get help
    2. Be careful about the way you speak to your husband
    3. Say Good Things about your husband
  8. Pray for your Spouse!
    1. It’s hard to be mad at someone you are praying for
    2. Praying for someone makes your heart tender towards them
    3. Praying for your spouse makes you think about what he is going through and his needs

This is by no means an exhaustive list. But I have seen the benefits of applying it in my own marriage! 
What is the best marriage advice you have ever received?


    Marriage Advice (Part 1)

    Last weekend, I was blessed to be a part of our ladies group, City Sisters, as we had a sweet discussion about marriage. I thought I would share some of the advice given with you.
    I am splitting it into two parts.
    My dear sister-in-the-Lord, Ritchie Jordan, very sweetly shared her testimony and life lessons she has learned in her marriage.
    Ritchie’s definition of submission is one of the best I have heard.
    Submission: to willingly come under someone and lift them up
    Isn’t that beautiful?
    I know a lot of women (myself included) buck at the idea of submission. It doesn’t seem like a very empowering word. But in reality, it is! You have the power to lift your spouse up and help him be a better man! This is definitely something that I want to do for my husband!
    The reality is that not everyone is happy in their marriages. 
    A lot of marriages are in a state of frustration.
    I have talked with many women who tell me that they wish they had not chosen the man that they are married too. And if they could go back they would do it differently.
    Yes, we would all do things differently if we could go back in time and know what we know now. But reality is we can’t and we shouldn’t dwell on those thoughts, because it is pointless and changes nothing. What we can change is our hearts and our mindset.
    We need to change our views of our spouse from
    “This is the man who I am stuck with…”
    to
    “This is the man who God gave me!”
    Once our attitude changes we can begin to see what God wants for our marriage and not how miserable or frustrated we are.
                   The following is a perfectly worded acronym for a wife.
                                                        W- Warm up his life with your love
                                                         I- Improve his life as a helper
                                                        F- Follow his leadership with a willing heart
                                                        E- Esteem him highly with the utmost respect

    One of the final statements that Ritchie made was this…
    “Helping my husband helps me…and that allows me to help others.”
    What a powerful statement!
    We were created, as women, to be a “helpmeet” 
    Are you helping?
    Or are you hurting?
    I pray that we, as wives, will embrace our roles as “helpers” and submit {lift up} our spouses!

    For my Sister

    Happy Birthday to my little sister, Elizabeth!!! 
    Isn’t she gorgeous?! Obviously, this pic is not from this weekend… 
    (Hence no 33 week preggo belly!)
    Three years ago, Liz decided to move to Michigan. I know that God knew that I would need my sister! The last three years has been some of the most amazing and crazy years of my life!!! 
    She will never know how God used her to bless me and my family. Everything from spending nights in the hospital, to moving my whole house TWICE in one summer, to loving and spoiling my boys like a good Auntie does.
    I don’t think I could repay her for her self-less giving and friendship…
    Liz is a super-awesome crafter! You can see all her sweet creations at her blog.
    So, I thought I would try to make something for her!
    She is working on making her room look amazing and so I thought I could turn one of my jackets that I no longer wear into a sweet pillow cover for her.
    Her room has all of these colors.
    This is said Jacket.
    Nope. I don’t have any pictures of the process. None. Nada. 
    Oops!
    But here is the finished product after I chopped my coat to pieces!


    Not perfect. But a lot of fun! =) 
    I love ya sis! Happy Birthday!
    Keikilani