It’s easy to write recipes and posts about cleaning house and the antics of my crazy boys. It’s safe. I get excited about those kinds of posts. They are fun! No one really can get mad at you for writing about cookies, ham, and little boys baseball games. (At least I hope not!)
For just over a week, I have been praying, writing, re-writing, debating in my head, and burdened in my heart on this post and others like it that I feel so very strongly the need to share. I don’t like to be vulnerable. Honestly, the Lord has truly pressed me to share more openly the things He has and is revealing to me. Bare with me as I am on a journey. A very revealing journey of who I am, who is around me, who God is, and what I am supposed to be. I humbly pray that you would find yourself on a journey with God and be open to the powerful truths that He so desperately wants to show us.
So here it is. Raw, personal, and open…
The only word to describe the last five plus years serving God here in Detroit is… Journey. A journey that I have not always wanted to be on. A path that has quite frankly jolted me, perplexed me, frustrated me, excited me, thrilled me, and broken me. Let’s just say it has been emotional. It’s been AMAZING! And it’s not over yet…
A few days ago, we hosted a Concert and Picnic in the Park in one of the hardest hit areas of Detroit. Our church has determined to take church outside the walls and go reach people where they are and love on them. So, we set up some bounce houses, built a stage, cooked 2,000 hot dogs, popped popcorn, and cranked up the music! This isn’t just any park… This isn’t one I would send my children to play at. I would never go alone. Allow me to describe to you the state of this park. There is a layer of glass from broken liquor bottles over the grass. Trash and used drugs are the flowers in this parks landscape. The sprawling, overgrown parking lot every night becomes packed with cars, but there is no baseball game. Business as usual in this park is not the good kind of business. Police do NOT come to this park. It is known for pimping, drug sales, pick-ups and all around extreme night-life… This is the park we went to.
Shortly after I arrived, my husband pointed out a girl laying in the grass under a tree close to where we were set up. Already there were several hundred people in the park and the excitement and surprise from the neighborhood about our set up was already pulsating around the community. I was excited. It was going to be a fun day. And it’s at this point another bend in my journey was about to take place.
We come across people with many needs often in our ministry here. Addicts, homeless, users, pushers, hurting, lost, frustrated, broken… It is not the first time I sat down with a young girl like this…but as I spoke with her and looked at her eyes and heard her story…I was shaken once again.
Her name was MaryAnn. 21 years old. Thin. Pale and disheveled, but strikingly beautiful for having slept in the park for at least a few nights. She had nothing. Just the clothes she had been wearing for days and a new City Church shirt that Jon had given her when he first arrived. Her face is so clear still in my mind. Smudged green eyeshadow and running mascara around her large brown eyes, her lips large and puffy and cracked in the corners from dehydration, protruding cheek bones and pale skin framed by frazzled long brown hair under a green baseball hat. Her appearance was so pathetic and sad. But while I sat in the grass next to her and held her hand while she told me her story, I couldn’t help but notice her eyes. Even still, I find it hard to communicate what I saw. It was numbness. Pure terrifying numbness. A look that comes from being alone, abandoned, abused, frightened, lost, searching, exhaustion, and hopelessness. Here was a girl so desperate in need physically, emotionally, spiritually…
My heart was pounding so hard as I listened, my throat was swollen with no words that felt even remotely appropriate…My own eyes felt hot with tears of sadness for her. And worst of all, the knowledge that I knew if she stayed in this park tonight the horrific things that would come about was overwhelming.
When her voice trailed off and she stared into the distance at the kids happily bouncing in the bounce houses, I put my arm around her and told her she was loved. I told her I was so sorry she was here and in so desperate a situation, but I knew that there was someone desperate to help her. I prayed with her and as I asked God to comfort her the numbness broke for a moment and clear drops of tears poured for a few minutes. I was able to share with her a Savior who could give her hope, but I didn’t want to leave it at that.
We are desperately praying that God would allow us to expand our ministry to the capacity of being able to help girls, families, children, men who are hurting like MaryAnn. Most of the homes and shelters here in Detroit are filled every night and are maxed out. I jumped on the phone and began praying that God would allow someone to answer my call. After 4-5 different numbers and turn aways…I heard the sweet answer of…we have room. Just a few beds left.
Oh, thank you, Jesus! Her eyes flickered with hope when I told her that I found a place for her. I introduced her to our Recovery Leader and one of our Lead Guitarist and they got in their car and drove her to the shelter and the opportunity to change.
I don’t know what has happened to MaryAnn. I can’t tell you that she is in rehab, getting counseling, or not back on the streets. But I do know this. She saw Jesus that Saturday. Not me. I had nothing to offer her. I would not have been at that park, had God not put it in my husbands heart to go there, had a group from Florida not sacrificed to come and give time to help make the weekend a success, had many given up time and money to provide food and resources.
What really wrenches my heart is the thought of what would have happened to this precious girl if we had not been in the park that day. Drug overdose, new girl in the pimp house, rape, abuse, abandonment… And this is just ONE of the thousands.
Oh dear God! How I would have passed on by… A few years ago turned up my nose thinking so highly of myself…
Even still at this moment, as I am writing this, I am at a loss for how to end this post. The thing is…it can’t end. It has to go on! Jesus love is so big! Maybe you are the one who is numb…the one who is hurt… Jesus can rescue you! He gives hope! Or maybe you think you are all good. Where would you be without Him…
Journeying together…
KEIKILANI
