Motherhood is a beautiful adventure that is overwhelming, exciting, crazy, perplexing and wonderful all at the same time!
From the moment that tiny little human was placed into your arms, your life changed forever. There was no choice. You would never be the same. And that’s a good thing. Because being a great mom is at the top of my list of hopes and dreams. Like most, I consider being a mom one of the highest privileges I have.
However, motherhood doesn’t define who you are as a woman.
Yes, you are a mother. But you are so much more than “Just a Mom!” Too many moms loose themselves in motherhood and become worn out, grumpy, and almost lost. We know exactly what we want for our children. Happiness, purpose, success, joy, and fulfillment of their biggest dreams. Every waking moment is spent working towards helping them accomplish the goals and dreams of our little ones. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting big things for our children or doing everything we can to help them see success!
But the truth comes out… We are wondering if the girl we were before becoming a mommy even still exists? Is she lost forever? How would you even squeeze in the time to even THINK about yourself and what you want, when you are so busy taking care of everyone else? Your list is a hundred miles long just with the household chores and schedules to keep. Why make the list longer by adding yourself to it?
I have been there. I AM there. Whether you have one little person in your life or six crazies like me… The same struggle is real. I have days where I feel as if I will scream if one more small demanding person asks for a drink or a snack or to find something they lost. I realize that I haven’t changed out of yoga pants in a week. I barely showered in two days. I have slept horribly for months. I am beginning to feel guilty about EVERYTHING. And I when I finally have a moment to myself… I collapse on the couch, unmotivated to even think about the piles of laundry, toys, dishes, bills, and shoes that need my attention.
Some days it feels as if there is no end in sight to the predictable routine and sheer craziness of Motherhood. So tell me, why should I even think about Myself, My goals, My dreams?
Here are 5 five reasons why every mom should have goals and dreams just for herself.
To Rediscover The Woman You Are:
Entering motherhood didn’t end who you were/are. Motherhood is something you added to your life. And it made you better. Motherhood showed you how to truly love and give of yourself. It has stretched you physically and mentally beyond what you ever thought you were capable of. Opening yourself to dreams and goals just for you allows you to rediscover yourself and to take the strength that motherhood has brought you and let it take you to knew places.
Personal Satisfaction and Accomplishment:
Personal goals and dreams give you a sense of personal satisfaction and accomplishment. It’s time to be proud of yourself! You are proud of your kids, your husband, your family… Be proud of Yourself! When you accomplish personal goals you will find pride in who you are and the work you have done. You will probably never find the bottom of the laundry basket and the dishes will always be there to wash. The difference between household chores and a personal goal is it can be DONE. Accomplished. Marked off the list. And you can push on towards the next step with pride.
To Be an Example:
Having goals and dreams is an incredible example to our children. They need to know that they can accomplish big dreams in their lives. Show them that putting others first also includes pushing yourself to be a better you. It may seem like the kids won’t notice the late hours spent learning new things and pushing towards our dreams, but they do. They see it. And it is making a HUGE impact in their little lives. If mom can do it. They can do it.
The Thrill and Excitement of Learning Something New:
Engaging your creative mind and passion revives and inspires you. There are days in the grips of motherhood that I feel as if my brain has turned to mush! When we focus on learning new skills our mind becomes engaged and stimulated. It’s that same feeling you used to get when in your favorite class in high school or after a hard, but successful sports practice. It is excitement of learning new skills makes our mind sharp and focused in.
The Children Won’t Be at Home Forever:
There will be a time (hopefully) when the children leave home. The plan is for them to grow up and start families of their own. I have heard several “Empty Nesters” tell me how lost they feel with no purpose after their children leave home, because they had no life outside of their children. I am not saying that there won’t be an empty feeling without your children. But, when you allow yourself to have your own goals and dreams while they are at home; you will know what you want. You will have already begun your journey to making your dreams come true.
I have found that when I am working on my personal dreams and goals I am a better mom. I am happy. I am proud of myself. I am exited about my day. I am in tune with my children and their dreams and the excitement that they have for their own future.
I hope that you find the courage to dream big and push towards your own goals in Motherhood. You are worth it! Your dreams are worth it! I am cheering for you!
Happy Dreaming!
Keikilani
What are some of your personal goals and dreams?
Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says
I do have goals and dreams for myself, but right now my kids are more important, so mine are on the back burner – as they should be 🙂
Rebecca says
I do have goals and dreams just like my son does. It’s funny now that he is a teenager he cheers me on just as much as i cheer him on.
NutriFitMama says
I agree- everyone should have goals and dreams for themselves. Sometimes it’s difficult to get the chance to focus on yourself when you have kids that’s for sure, especially because they really do always come first! 🙂
Helene Cohen Bludman says
With my kids now grown and out of the house I can focus on me. I am pursuing my dream of writing a novel.
Karla Campos says
Love this! Mom’s are definitely people outside of their kids. As a single mom entrepreneur, I’ve had to let go of the thinking “a mom should be”. I definitely go after my dreams and goals.
Seattle Travel Blogger says
I think being a parent is the hardest job there is.
But, I also think it is good to have some self direction outside of parenthood.
Danielle says
Love this!
milenabarrett says
This is a great reminder. Everyone should have their own goals and dreams. It makes you happier.
Judy says
Great thoughts, Keiki! As an empty nester, I am now enjoying some of the dreams and goals I developed and held onto while my kids were younger. Thanks for encouraging young moms in the middle of the chaos and crazy!!
Keikilani Jackson says
Thank you for your encouragement to me, Judy! You are an inspiration. =)
Autumn @Mamachallenge says
I really love this post! It is super important to make sure you have dreams and goals of your own besides your children.
Claudia krusch says
I agree with it in so many levels! When I was just a SAHM, I still had hopes and dreams, they fill your soul!
Yesenia Castillo says
This post is a great reminder. Not only is our good for us as moms, it is also healthy for our kids.