**This is an open letter to “Seasoned” Mothers of grown children in response to a few conversations I have recently had and overheard…it may be slightly sarcastic at some moments.”
Dear Seasoned Moms of Grown Children,
I just wanted to say, “Thank You!”
Thank you for pointing out how tired I look. I hadn’t looked in the mirror lately and how NO IDEA how big the bags under my eyes were. Which is surprising, because I have gotten a TON of sleep with twin newborns! I also appreciate your help with the five recommendations on how to get rid of said bags under eyes. I totally have time to run to the store to get those creams and sit for 20 minutes with cucumbers and tea bags on my eyes.
Thank you for telling me to “Just wait for the teenage years.” like it was a death sentence. You have just made shivers go down my back after telling me the toddler years are NOTHING compared to the teenage years. I am totally able to cope with my toddlers tantrums and destructive behaviors with no problem now that I know the worst is yet to come.
Thank you for sending me a message on Facebook pointing out that I should not be drinking so much coffee and diet coke. Apparently, everyone knows that diet coke will kill you and drinking too much caffeine has some serious side effects. I need to learn how to survive on no sleep some other way.
Thank you for watching me walk by at Target with my brood of six kids in tow and giving me a stare and then uttering just two words… “Good Luck!”
Thank you for asking me if I knew what birth control was. I had NO idea!
Thank you for finding the time in your busy schedule to tell explain to me the dangers of GMOs, PopTarts, and putting my child in the basket area of the shopping cart. I know you had more knowledge to impart on me, but I just didn’t have the time as my two year old was climbing out of the shopping cart basket and attempting to jump into the shelf of PopTarts.
Thank you for letting me know how much easier I have it as a mom than you did. If I had to raise my kid 20 years ago I most likely would never had made it.
Thank you for telling me electronics will destroy my children’s childhood and cause them to become violent children. I knew that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse app was of the DEVIL!
Thank you for being the perfect homemaker and never missing putting a home cooked meal on the dinner table every night and had a perfectly clean and spotless house for your husband to come home to. It’s always nice to feel like a failure for having grabbed a pizza from Sam’s Club after shopping for groceries and being too tired to cook after buying all that food!
Thank you to the mom’s who see me carrying two children , a cup of coffee, & four shopping bags and exclaim “Wow! You have your hands full!” And then continue to walk on by.
Thank you to the seasoned mom who is available to talk about my very personal business of weight, eating habits, and parenting choices. Of course, I feel comfortable with you pointing out all my flaws and making sure I know the right answers for all my problems! I had NO idea that I needed to rub estrogen in my armpits to help my hormones balance out!
And last, but CERTAINLY NOT least,
THANK YOU to the seasoned mom who stopped and told me my children were beautiful.
Thank you for seeing that I am doing my very best on little sleep and little patience left.
Thank you for telling me that it will get better.
Thank you for reminding me in such a sweet way, that these days really do fly by.
Thank you for picking up the shoe that fell off my daughters feet and offering to hold a toddler’s hand while I comforted a crying baby.
Thank you for telling me I look amazing for how busy I must be having all these little kids!
Thank you for telling me that these babies become your best friends when they grow up.
Thank you for being kind and letting me be me. For supporting mothers who make different choices than you did.
Oh, Seasoned Mom, I need you. I need you to love me, to encourage me, to support me. Keep letting me know that you survived those long days and I can too! Remind me that these babies are worth every cup of coffee needed to stay awake. And every mess is a blissful reminder that too soon they will be gone and I would give anything to have them again.
With Love,
Keikilani
Long story, but I was in a restaurant in my town where there was a single mom (well she was alone) with three kids who were all under 4 I would say. One of the kids started crying, as they do, and this older woman at the booth behind her yelled at her about it and tried to make the poor mom feel bad. I mean come on, we’ve all been there and how about a little pat on the back to the brave mom who ventured out alone to a restaurant with 3 littles in tow. I yelled at the old lady btw 😉
I am so glad you stood up for her! Sad that we moms don’t offer more support to other moms.
I know every one of us can relate – a probably on both sides! Lol 🙂
That is a very touching perspective on both sides. I can relate to all of it. As women we should be supportive and nurturing. It is good to have an eye opener to remind us of that from time to time.
Ugh, the rude comments are not cool. When I first had my baby, I hated when people said, “Just wait..” How did they know I would experience what they did?
However, some seasoned moms are really what we need, aren’t they? Love this.
Yes! Thank God for the seasoned moms who are a blessing!
oh you are awesome – keep going girl. I only have one (not by choice) but would give anything to have been able to have more so I hate that people say some of these things to you as who are they to judge! The one thing that was true for me, is they will be your best friend, they don’t all necessarily grow up to be monsters in their teens (mine is normal) as not everyone is the same and the time DOES fly by so try and enjoy your crazy, tired life every once in awhile – even if it’s only for a split second as one day you will look back and see that so many things were the ‘lasts’ and you didn’t realize it. 😉 But it IS the BEST ‘job’ in the world!!!!!!
It sure is the best job in the world! 🙂
Whoever judges you or your parenting style is a rude person, whether she’s young or old.
Acknowledging ‘help’ from both ends of the spectrum really puts some aspect of parenting into perspective. Quality support is key.
Oh I’ve certainly been there and I don’t give advice now at all. Each child is different and what you went through with your kids, I might not go through with mine and vice versa. Those who say kind words are the ones I want to talk to me, if you have nothing nice to say when my preschooler is having a fit in Victorias Secret because she’s tired, keep on walking!
HA…GREAT article!
We’re alot alike. We should get our kids together and us parents will drink wine and make fun of other parents…
No matter what point in life you are at there are always going to be people judging. Good for you for turning it around and looking at the bright side of things.
This is hilarious I love it! Yes thank you I do drink too much coffee 😉
Love this, I only have my little 3 year old Harvey, but he is a handful..and there have been many fits and crying tantrums at every store you can possibly think of. I have no choice but to take him everywhere I go as a single parent. I can feel the stares on me when he is having a meltdown, which is sometimes just completely unavoidable. What I appreciate is when other moms come over and try to help…talk to him…and distract him from his fit. We need to help each other, it takes a village to raise a child.
As furious as I was about the first section, the second section brought tears to my eyes. Thank goodness for understanding moms.
Being the parent of a 19-year-old, I will say, “You’re welcome!” Yeah, motherhood isn’t easy, but when you love your children, it is a labor of love that you don’t really mind at all!
LOL! Okay, this is hilarious. When I was a first time mom, I did everything we were “supposed” to do as a new mom and then after the 3rd, it got real…real! I can totally relate.
Some moms are so judgemental of others. Yet, very rarely do moms actually come together to help each other out. It’s a shame as we’re all just doing our best.