Dear Momma, You are stronger then you think you are…

Dear Momma,

You are stronger then you think you are…

But… It’s okay not to be.

I keep saying, “This is a weird time.” 

I’ve been saying it for months. And I don’t think it will be changing anytime soon.

Are you like me? Tired, wiped out, overwhelmed, and starting to feel like someone has been practicing the recorder in your house for a solid 4 months? 

We began this quarantine with a two week prediction of staying at home, isolated with the kids. And now, here we are starting the fall school year with At-Home Learning for the foreseeable future. 

All of this has been hard. Like, figuring out calculus while wrangling a monkey, hard. 

There are no quick solutions, no official end date, no one else who can step in and take over easily.

The responsibilities are falling heavy on us mommas and we are feeling it. 

This isn’t a complaint post. No really!

It’s a reality post. 

It’s a post where I tell you I feel you. 

I am over this, but I can’t be.

I am doing my best, but feel like I am failing.

My house has seen better days.
My kids have seen a LOT of screens.
Our meals have been slightly over carb’d.
And I really would like to through an epic fit over being “forced” to do school at home with my kids!

I know. I am blessed.

We are healthy. 
My husband still has a job. 
I still have coaching clients and blogging contracts.
We have plenty of food. 
We have a house.
I have wine.
We have internet. (THANK GOD!)

All things that I am very thankful for… 

BUT…

I am having days where I seriously question whether or not I have the strength to do all that needs to be done. 

• Whether I will be able to keep my children’s education on track and where it needs to be.
• Whether I will loose my ever-loving-mind listening to my boys talk smack to each other all day every day. 
• Whether I will be sucked into the piles of laundry that need to be washed and put away. 
• Whether I will find the will power to ever cook a healthy meal again, or if we will just live on tacos and mac & cheese and nuggets for the rest of the year…

All of these things and much more all are swirling in my head every day, all day.

Let’s also just bring up the fact that I feel deeply that my children are missing out on part of their childhood. 

Summer had no special trips. 
We have barely left the house.
They have only seen their friends a handful of times. 
School routines and the classmates & teachers they love will be missed terribly.

This and so much more.

They feel it too.

And then I feel it. 

I want to break.

I want A break!

Recently, I was reminded of something I said on my dear friend, Alex’s podcast, The Adoptive Mom. 

In reference to motherhood as an adoptive mom, a biological mom, or any other kid of mom….

“You are stronger then you think you are… But it’s okay not to be.”

It’s true. 

You are so strong, Momma.

Like turn green – Hulk Smash strong!

I am BLOWN away by the women I see on social media, my other mom friends, and women who are plowing through and adjusting, pivoting, making the best out of this crappy year. 

I am inspired.

And when I doubt that I can do the same. I remember, I am stronger than I think I am. I have done harder things than this. I am capable of squeezing out the last drops of sanity and with the help of some really strong coffee, I can find the energy and strength to do what needs to be done. 

AND YOU CAN TOO!

But also…

You don’t have to be strong all the time. 

You don’t have to put on a brave face every day. 

You don’t have to be perfect and Pinterest-worthy.

It’s okay not to be… (you fill in the blank)

Kick the darn mom guilt out of your head. 
Give it a time out. 
Tell it to buzz off. 

Give yourself a huge hug, pat on the back, and fist bump, as your remind yourself you are stronger then you think you are, but it’s okay not be today.